Kausalya Parthasarathy

             Her very name and image brings a smile to my face. I happened to meet her through a common friend and colleague sometime in 1992. The first few meetings I noticed that a lot of people were moving in and out of her room and the space was resounding with laughter of these people. Most of them were colleagues who had come for a job to be done, information to be passed on  etc. Some of them were here friends and acquaintances who had come to meet her casually. No matter what the reason, or who the person - every conversation will end in laughter only. That was a time,  I was kind of wary of the people around me and took my time interacting with them, and deciding upon the distance I should maintain with them .  With Kausalya, I do not remember if I really took some time or not. I feel things  just progressed swiftly and very soon , both of us were walking down the aisles of bookshops and cardshops. Either window shopping or buying cards and knick knacks. I was a great believer in gifting cards to every friend and relative , for every occasion or without occasion too. Kausalya would be dragged along and we both used to have fun browsing and commenting . She also sings well and knows a lot of old hindi songs . This was also a mutual attraction between us . Her witty one liners or off hand comments would make me laugh so much . I hardly remember ever having a serious conversation with her. Only conversations punctuated with laughter & giggles - i think even while talking about something seriously we would end up laughing. 

I have observed her way of functioning and interacting with people. They might be her bosses, common colleagues, friends, or office staff. We would not know the mind frame with which they would have entered her room , but when they leave they would be smiling, sometimes singing too. She never had any preconceived notions about anyone , nor did she have any prejudices . She used to just go with the flow and follow her instincts . 

Therewere times when she was troubled by migraine headaches and severe bout of vomiting. All of us would be worried about it . But the way she narrates her period of sickness and ill health will make us laugh out loud. She had a knack of ensuring that the conversations were light hearted and stayed that way. Relaxed and comfortable  - is what anyone and everyone who interacts with her would feel. 

Our lunch sessions were  loud and filled with uncontrolled laughter, some of us would miss a joke so the whole thing had to be repeated causing us to laugh again and we happily extended it to more than a hour at times. Most of us looked forward to going to office only for the lunch meet. That was the attraction which ensured our attendance - more than anything else. A couple of times our bosses and superiors have asked us to "reduce the volume/sound of our laugh" or "keep it low". But then , while we are with Kausalya, silent laughter is just not an option. It would be a literal - "laugh out loud" session. Humour has a lot of restrictions today with the aim of not hurting anyone, being inclusive etc. But Kausalya was unconsciously following these etiquettes. Her jokes were harmless, inclusive and spontaneous. She had lots of friends in both sexes. But her "boy" friends exceeded the "girl" friends. She never encouraged gossip, rant, cribs,  vexed or demeaning manner of speaking etc. The conversations if found to be of these nature were skillfully diverted  and distracted into a different direction. She was keen on keeping herself updated technologically and as required by her work. She was one person who was update with the latest news in general and movies /songs too. She would not read any novels to my knowledge but an avid reader of short pieces, quotes, or those articles of interest which would help in evolving herself as a person. 

She would often say "we should update ourselves constantly". Being her admirer in the various roles she enacted - at office and home,  I found that she was not a people pleaser. Being her natural self - pleased a lot of people. She would diplomatically remove herself from situations and people without causing any discomfort or distress. She never worried about what people thought or spoke about her. We might wonder , what could probably discussed about this type of person.  But I have noticed, that accepting a person as such is very difficult in our society, there are people who tend to dissect and disseminate people on various grounds .  I personally admire her for the ease with which - she  maintains a mental distance by a cordial camradarie with difficult and different people. 

When we felt low, or felt we need to have a hearty laugh, my friend and I would say " lets go and meet Kausy" . To us she was that kind of  a person. Like her words, her gifts would be thoughtful and her presence would be soothing . 

She participates in fun, frolic, get togethers, selective girls outing. Physically she maintains herself well and also indulged fearlessly in skydiving. Sometimes it may appear as a daring act, but  I feel as a person  she is pretty adventurous and open to new experiences.  She is neither judgemental nor preachy. Her retirement was a beautiful event where she got the honour she deserved from the Top most officer. At the same time she skilfully evaded crowding of her close friends and acquaintences , with whom she keeps in touch till date. 

Post retirement, she has planned her daily life with a routine. She is open to ideas ,she learnt piano, yoga, goes on long walks, updates herself on the latest fashion and is as usual bustling about . She never hesitates to learn, relearn, unlearn too. While walking around with her in our area , her nature is so beautiful that I found she had a word & smile with everyone -  literally everyone - flower vendor,  shopkeepers, traffic policemen plus her regular friends whom she meets during her walks.

I could understand everything, but the fact that the traffic policemen recognised her and spoke with her really stood out and showed the real beauty of the person Kausalya is. She said "Smile is not costly" and also beautifully practices the humane quality of humanity. Rather than preaching these thoughts /philosophy she is a unsung heroine who practices it . 

I am always in awe of her . Such a dear friend she is . Feeling truly very happy  and need to learn a lots from her.  

Thoughts in 2016 on - impact of patriarchy - relevant today too

Impact of patriarchy in the conditioning of women. 

Remarriage of a widower or male divorcee with or without children to an unmarried  girl/woman is an acceptable and normal practice. The reason being that it is tough for a man to live his life alone.  Specifically when he has children and if they are girls, then the presence of a mother in their life is essential. ' Poor man' how can he bring them up without a lady in the house.  While looking out for  a girl suitable for him-  preference is always for unmarried woman albeit slightly older, or a young girl from a poor family . In case that doesn't work out then, the second option is for a widow without issues and lastly a divorcee without issue. These kinds of markers need not be specified by the man but are the accepted norms as per his mother , sisters and female relatives. More so if he is slightly well to do. The common train of thought is " in the process the poor girl will get a better life and she can also help her family economically." This thought is not an age old practice , but still in vogue even among the so called educated ' class'. Contrarily, if a lady is divorced or widowed and considering remarriage , the father and family members themselves lookout for alliances only of those boys who are widowed/ divorced. The very thought of considering a young unmarried bachelor would not cross the mind of the girl or her closest family members. And if she is having child/ children then the first process to be thought of the age of the child , the age of  the lady, whether marriage is really required, or can she manage without a partner etc will be discussed and discussed and rehashed by one and all .Suppose she does get remarried then the whole family looks upto the groom gratefully for having given " life and respectability" to their girl. By chance if the groom is unmarried then there would be no end to the feeling of veneration bestowed on him. If it is felt that this kind of veneration and gratitude for the benevelonce felt for the married or unmarried man is only by the parents . it is not so . It is primarily felt by the lady herself. The lady  feels immense gratitude to the man who has given her a LIFE. She a '" Defective/unlucky/who is not' a virgin/who was cursed with ill luck/a non-marketable commodity" has been absolutely lucky in her life. .THIS IS THE IMPACT of PATRIARCHY.  And once again I would like to tell that  this is not an old  thought but exists even this day in 2016/2023. 

Meandering Thoughts

                 A discussion among friends got me thinking. These friends have the same responsibilities that I have - which is - taking care our own family and our parents. While carrying our duties and responsibilities, our emotional and psychological health takes a toll reflecting in our physical well being too. We are angry, disappointed, worn out, emotionally and physically drained while performing our day to day work both at home and workplace. It made me wonder , as to what exactly  the cause for this physical and mental exhaustion could be .

Is it because :

a) We fail to meet our own expectations?

b) We feel that our family members "take us for granted"?

c) We are either underappreciated or unappreciated ?

d) We are not acknowledged for the time effort and emotions invested by us in the execution of our various responsibilities ?

e) We are unable to spend time the way we want?

f) We are unable to pursue our interest, plan our leisure or practice our hobbies?

g) We get a feeling that neither the immediate family nor the care given parents understand us or the issues facing us or the emotions we feel ?

h) We feel that the  parents whose responsibility we shoulder feel and unjustified entitlement?

i ) Or is the bondage and fetters which hold us down like a heavy burden or our THOUGHTS about this bondage. ?

I don't know what causes these anguished feeling in us. To add to this, we have siblings and well wishers who are ready to pass judgement on how we perform our duties both in our family and in the care of our parents. Either we are too caring or we are too indifferent or we are pampering kids, or we are giving in too much to the needs and demands of parents . I dont know, everybody has some opinion or the other on how we perform our duties. I am pretty sure that it is a waste of my thought and energy to pay heed to these kind of judgmental and biased observations. But being a human being, when we hear these kind of statements especially when we are very vulnerable or drained it kind of really pains. 

Suppressed anger, tears threaten to jump out at the most unlikeliest place making us feel weak , lost and sometimes questioning our own efficiency and method of execution .

Rationally thinking, we understand that we are not at fault, for that matter no one is at fault - neither the cared for  nor the caregiver or the observers. Still some times words /actions hurt us a lot making us difficult to understand what to do,  what not to do  and question our decisions beliefs and mindset. 

But my thoughts are why do we feel upset and vulnerable. Is there a conflict in our mind between guilt   & desire.Guilt of not being to meet "ëxpected standards" and desire for not being able to do what we want, when we want and the way we want. 

On observation , no matter how detached or calm I want to be while carrying out the routine day to day mundane chores, demands on me is simultaneously made by all members of the family at the same time. Probably this is the reason for feeling vulnerable . Also it kind of becomes very difficult to say "NO" to these demands however unreasonable they are at times. I understand I need to draw a line some where, but yet to grasp at what point I feel I can call the shots. 

My friends tell me this constant chatter of my mind, the restlessness we feel can be reduced with meditation, but then again I am waiting for an opportunity to start meditation, my sense of procrastination is in full blown action. 

Just penning thoughts which are wandering around in my mind.

Just wondering

Just wondering, is it essential that we have to be well read in philosophy or psychology to understand life? What if I have not done any course - structured curriculum based academic degree or diploma. Does it make me an illiterate or less educated person? What if I gain a lot of understanding on life, people, living and various concepts through reading, watching series, introspection, interactions. Is that inferior? Can I be considered sensible, or evolved,  if I learn that way. Every thing I observe makes me think observe learn and unlearn. Is that not accumulation of knowledge. I may not be able to quote great men, but when I read them understand them and practice it wherever possible- is it not enough. I am wary of verbose and jargon filled speeches and philosophical quotes or any kind of observation. Does that make me an inferior person. To me learning is a continuous process. I learn from books, movies, serials, children and older people. I learn what to do, what not to do, what to think, what not to think. If and when necessary I will find out methods to tackle various situations in life, is that not enough?. I associate with people of all ages, all strata of society. I watch learn and observe. I practice what I feel I need to. To me this is enough. I do not care what others think of me, talk about me, perceive me as. As much as possible I try to maintain good relationships with people who matter to me. That is all. I want to practice being unmoved by emotional blackmail, Judgemental views and opinions. Is that wrong or right? Who is to decide or judge me  for my words or actions. So what if I am friendly with some and plain cordial to others both in relationship and friendship? Is it not my choice?. Do I not have the right to do so?. Must I at every stage think of others opinion/  comments on various actions of mine and various roles of mine.?.. Just wondering.. Just wondering..

Maiden tamil story

முன்பு ஒரு காலத்தில், அந்திபுரம் என்னும் கிராமத்தில் இரண்டு நண்பர்கள் வாழ்ந்து வந்தனர். அடுத்து அடுத்து வீட்டில் இருந்ததால் சிறு வயது முதல் ஒன்றாக விளையாடி சாப்பிட்டு பள்ளி,கோவில் எல்லாம்சுற்றி வந்தனர் பகல் முழுவதும் பள்ளி கல்லூரி என்று ஒன்றாக இருந்தாலும் மாலை ஆறு மணிக்கு இருவரும் சிவாவிஷ்னு ஆலயம் சென்று அதன் குலகரை படியினில் உட்கார்ந்து மணிக்கணக்காக பேசுவார்கள். கிராமத்தில் உள்ள அனைவருக்கும் இவர்கள் நட்பு பார்த்து, சிரிப்பு, பொறாமை, எகத்தாளம் எல்லாம் வரும் . ஆனால் இவிருவரும் அதை எதயும் பொருட்படுத்தாமல் தங்கள் பொழு தை கழிதார்கள். ஒருவர் பேர் சீனிவாசன் ஒருவர் பேர் ராமலிங்கம்.
நாட்கள் உருண்டு ஓடின . இருவர்  வாழ்கையில் பொறுப் புகள் கூடுதலாக, சேர்ந்த செலவழிக்கும் நேரம் குறைந்து வந்தது. ஆனால் எந்த நிலையிலும் மாலை நேரத்தில் கோவிலில் சந்திப்பது நிற்க வில்லை. அவர்கள் மனைவிகள் கேட்டார்கள் அப்பிடி என்னதான் பேசுவீர்கள் இரெண்டு பெரும். அவர்கள் சொன்னார்கள், புத்தகம், பாட்டு, அரசியல்,சொந்த பிரச்சினை என்று எவ்வளோ இருக்கு பேச. மனம் திறந்து பேச விஷயங்களுக்கு பஞ்சமா என்று ஒன்று போல் பதில் அளித்தார்கள். பல வருடங்கள் கழித்து அடுத்து அடுத்த தலைமுறைகள் படிப்பு பிழைப்பு என்று வேறு வெருஇடம் சென்று விட்டனர். சீனிவாசன் குடும்பத்தினர், Coimbatore, pollachi என்று போய்விட்டனர்.ராமலிங்கம் குடும்பத்தினர் erode , Madurai சென்று கடைசியில் சென்னையில் இருந்து விட்டார்கள் .இரு குடும்பத்திற்குள் இருந்த தொடர்பு விட்டு போய்விட்டது.
1991 இல் T G Geetha என்று ஒரு பெண்மணி சுங்கமற்றும் கலால் துறை யில் அதிகாரியாக சேர்ந்தால். இரண்டு வருடம் Coimbatore il   பணியாற்றிவிட்டு சென்னைக்கு மாற்றலாகி வந்தால்1993யிள். அதே நேரம் 1992இல் L ஜெயந்தி என்ற பெண் பங்களோரில் அதே  சுங்க மற்றும் கலால் துறை யில் பணிக்கு சேர்ந்து தனது திருமணம் முடிந்து சென்னையில் 1993 யில் வந்து செட்டில் ஆகி விட்டாள்.
ஒரு நாள் அலுவலகத்தில் ஜெயந்தி யை சந்தித்த ஒரு சக ஊழியர் , madam நலமா எப்போ வந்தீர்கள் Coimbatore il இருந்து " என்று கேட்டார். ஜெயந்திக்கு ஒன்றும் புரிய வில்லை. அவள் பதில் அளித்தால் நான் Bangalore இளிருந்து வந்திருக்கிறேன் . Coimbatore அல்ல. Madam நீங்கள் கீதா தானே ? இல்லியே! நான் ஜெயந்தி. Oh sorry madam. என்று அவர் சென்று விட்டார். இதே போல் கீதா விடமும் பலபேர் நலம் விசாரித்தார்கள் ஜெயந்தி என்று எண்ணி.
1999 ஆம் வருடம் இவிருபென்மணிகளும் ஒரே அலுவலகத்தில் பணியாற்ற நேர்ந்தது. இருவரும் சந்தித்துக் நட்பு மலர்ந்தது. அவர்களை சுற்றி இருப்பவர்கள் நிறைய பேர் அவர்கள் இருவருக்கும் முக சாயல் ஒரேபொள்  இருப்பது பற்றி பேசினார்.
பதவி உயர்வு கிடைத்ததா பின் இருவரும் ஓர் அறையில் பணி செய்ய நேர்ந்தது.அவர்கள் நட்பு மிகவும் பலம் அடைந்தது. இருவருக்கும் இளையராஜா இசை ,புத்தகம், சுஜாதா வின் எழுத்து, நகைச்சுவை ,சொந்த சோக கதைகள் என்று பல விதமான கதைகள் பேசும் பொழுது  தான் அறிந்து கொண்டார்கள் அவர்கள் இருவருக்கும், அந்திப்புரம் பூர்விகம் என்றும் அவர்கள் தாதன் மார்கள் அந்த ஊரில் ஒன்றாக இருந்தார்கள் என்றும்.
இந்த விஞான உலகத்தில் மரபுஅனு வழியாகப் நமக்கு நம் முன்னோர்கள் முக சாயல் , குணாதிசயம் எல்லாம் வரும் என்று கேள்வி பட்டு இருக்கோம். ஆனால் கருத்து ஒன்று சேர்ந்த இரு நண்பர்களின் வாரிசுகளுக்கும், அந்த மன ஒற்றுமை ,சிந்தனைகள் கூட ' gene' மூலம் வந்திருக்க வாய்ப்பு உள்ளதோ என்று தோன்றுகிறது. அந்தத் சீனிவாசன் ராமலிங்கம் போல் இன்று ஜெயந்தி கீதா நட்பு வளர்கிறது. உலகத்தில் எவ்வளவோ அதிசயங்கள் உண்டு அது போல் இதுவும் ஒன்று.

Widow Vs. Widower

I have been watching a few series on net and find that there is a lot of positive encouragement towards remarriage of widows and widowers in their middle age,  after their children become independent and leave home. The need for companionship is seemingly accepted and where a few family members/ kids don't appreciate it, efforts to convince them is taken etc.. It just struck me that today in 2019, when we women are still fighting for equality in all Spheres, whether this kind of a new relationship at 40+ is really feasible.
Let me first consider the scene when
in India, a man is widowed, after the rites of the deceased wife he becomes a new groom irrespective of whether he has kids or not.  If he has kids , the argument would be the kids need a mom , and if no kids then the argument would be that the lineage of family needs to continue . There have been cases where the widower has been steadfast in not getting married again and willing to bring up the kids alone. The statistics of these type of cases is not known to me..but in my personal experience it is very minimal. And the widowed father is praised to heaven. Because inspite of being a man he has  not given in to his personal needs ( I think his sexual) but has remained focused on the upbringing of the children. Sometimes this causes lots of emotional turmoil in the family relationships and dynamics, but that is a different issue.
Where a man decides to get married again, then what kind of bride do they lookout for : preferably unmarried ok if she is slightly older, next is widow or divorcee without issues. This, inspite of the fact the widower may have issue. As much as possible the possible bride should be of same community/caste/ subsect/ etc...The widower would be willing to get married to a girl from poor family too. In fact this act is considered magnanimous because he is giving " life " to the girl of no means and saddling her with a readymade family to boot. The compromise that the widowed groom makes will be in the form of social status, economic status, age (younger even if there is a gap of a decade between them). A 49 year old gentleman had replied to a matrimonial advertisement of 24 year old divorced girl. He is a religious person"shastrigal", well placed financially, has 3 kids , 2 daughter and one son. Elder daughter aged 24 married . Younger son 23 and daughter 21 or so at home. The reason he applied was because his horoscope had " gaja kesari yogam" which was rare and he was " fit" to keep the girl happy. Till date I wonder at his audacity to consider himself eligible groom to a girl old enough to be his daughter.  Ok this happened in the 90s. I do not know if there is a change in today but when I see the matrimonial advertisement, I don't find much of an improvement.
As regards women what is the scene?. A widowed woman with kid/s is told to live life and focus on upbringing of children . She is blessed that at least she has " kids". A widow without kids has to start finding some kind of an occupation for economic independence. But very rarely are they ever considered for another marriage. They have to focus their life on kids or self sustenance and conduct themselves with utmost " integrity" in character. ( That means don't even think of sexual needs you have lost the opportunity). I have come across a few widows with and without kids who got  married again. In one case, the groom had to convert from his religion to show depth of his love and then he got married to the lady. I have always seen the lady smiling and happy . But during conversations  I did notice that because she has been benevolently given a life again, she has very little say in any matter of the home front or their child. All decisions are taken by the man of the house including the dress/ saree she should wear and hair style she should maintain. She never gets to visit any shop for any reason. Cooking, cleaning, child care and office are her duties and she did it without complaint. Sometimes I used to wonder if she was really happy, but then as an outsider I probably was not the right person to judge. I occasionally glimpsed a forlorn expression, then again it was probably my over active imagination.
An another lady closer to my age, also a widow with a kid. The girl's father fell at the groom's feet showing gratitude for his benevolent act. More so because the groom was younger and unmarried. From the day one the only expectation of the groom from the lady was he should get no complaints from his parents and siblings. He "requested" her if she could do that and she dutifully readily agreed. Till this day she considers her totally indebted to the man for giving her and her son a " life".
Both the case described here is of middle class women who are economically independent too.
I keep wondering if this is the scene for working woman how bad it should be for uneducated, unemployed and women in lower economic strata. This being the situation, let me get back to my original thought regards marriage during middle ages. I remember a colleague of mine decided to get married before her retirement and advertised for a suitable groom. The uproar it created among her colleagues was huge. Her married and independent children came to office to threaten her and dissuade her.
I remember having a lot of argument with coworkers on what they object to. Ultimately it is her life. Immediately most said oh she will be cheated out of her wealth ,we are having her well being in mind. I said that again was her choice, if you can think do you mean to say she will not be considering her financial security. One gentleman said that it was so unbecoming of a lady to venture in this manner that too at this age..a lot of women agreed. This incident again is only a decade old.
So when I see these kind of encouragement for committment in middle age , it makes me wonder..is it possible? Will people within the woman's family be really open minded and accepting, or whether this might work in the higher echleons of society. I don't know.. For any woman ,to acknowledge that she has needs both sexual and non sexual and for that reason can  lookout for a friendship or relationship is a great achievement by itself. To go ahead and live independently as she deems fit is true independence indeed. But will that ever  happen? I am just pondering, ..

My rambling thoughts today 02/01/2019

One of my good friend was undergoing a major surgery.
Though a common surgery, she was an acute diabetic and post surgery she gave us a few days of intense stress and fear due to  post operation setback. But now , she  is  on the road to recovery and we are hoping to see her back on her foot in a few months.
But during this intense period of stress and worry , I was just observing how the thought process of our mind works. All of us were worried about  her. It was always there as a constant in our thoughts. However, each one of us,( her friends) were employed and had to carry out a  number of activities during this period. Like, our domestic responsibilities, work related responsibilities, managing people and a lot of other day to day mundane chores. Attention that kids and pets needed   were to be handled with immense patience and carefully  in such a manner that our stress should not spill over on them.  Simultaneously we had to carry on with our day to day mundane routine chores.Amidst the worry, we were able to appreciate the better things which we faced during these trying times like , the little pleasures of appreciation, understanding, recognition which we got at our workplace.  A word of appreciation received brightened us up and allowed us to relish the moment. 
I think our mind is also like the cosmos, where various activities of nature happens on each star, planet and  galaxies, plus their constant  movement and other natural phenomena outside  them.  No matter what happens on earth, each and every planet,stars, moons in the solar system continue to function independent and irrespective of any change. .
Similarly,  no matter what,   life teaches us that we can be happy and sad at the same time, worrying and planning  simultaneously.
Understanding the working of a  human mind is an awesome and productive exercise. There is so
much to learn , so much to unlearn , but at the same time nothing is of significance as our presence or absence does not really impact the earth.
Whereas our perception of ourselves, about what happens to us , about what is " right" or " wrong" is so huge. When something bad happens we crumple and  breakdown and wonder " what next" when in reality life just goes on..Our joy , our sorrow, our stress , our, laughter, our tears, our expression of emotions, feelings does not in anyway impact the earth/world.  What happens is, our perception about our importance is so huge that we fail to understand that in the larger schema of things , our presence or absence will have absolutely no impact at all .
At the same time  if we do not change, adapt,  alter or accept to the times and events happening around us we would be at a great loss.
Life is a journey in which each one of us should be ready to learn, unlearn, accept, adapt and keep moving ,else we will be losers as life passes us through.

What a wonderful journey our life is.! Once before , a friend  said " Who said life is / has to be easy?". Yes.. if it were so ? How do we learn art of appreciation of the simple pleasures, the achievement of goals. The  path of our struggle  in  living our lives, help us to enjoy and relish the miniscule achievements we make. A plain road and a long drive with no obstacle will be nice only for a limited period of time. The chance encounters , the change of lanes, the signals only will make that ride more  pleasurable. The beauty of passing scene can be appreciated only if we happen to see something not at all beautiful. Our happiness and enjoyment,  sadness and worries can be relished only on comparison . A daily feast is never enjoyed. Neither a daily dose of medicine..

Human beings are such wonderful creations who have the ability to see, learn, understand  move forward, laugh and cry . How many of us realise the beauty of existence as a human being and appreciate the life we have. We squander it away in pursuing things which are sometimes unattainable, or do not find the ability and capacity to fight our battles and give up. As a learned Doctor told us  " never give up " is a concept we should teach our children.
Life is  to be lived.. no matter. Every being  born has to die . The intervening period called life is the journey which should be pursued and not given up. I do not say giving up is easy, is cowardice  etc.. but fighting our battles is more important. Life is precious . There needs to be no rhyme or reason for any happening. So every moment that we are alive and able should be celebrated and relished. If giving up is the option, then why is it that so many people without even the satisfaction of basic needs , who are not accorded the basic human dignity also continue to live?
Is it because they don't know to end their life, I think not. It is because  , every one of us hope to see a better tomorrow. " Hope" that is the key word. Every injury, injustice, trauma, accident, mishap, bad  relationships , physical , mental disorders and disabilities  are definitely real. Not easy to traverse . But our fight and travel through this , however difficult, should be made. I want all the young children to be told that ,life is worth fighting for. Giving up is not easy but not giving up  is to be practiced.