Impact of patriarchy in the conditioning of women.
Remarriage of a widower or male divorcee with or without children to an unmarried girl/woman is an acceptable and normal practice. The reason being that it is tough for a man to live his life alone. Specifically when he has children and if they are girls, then the presence of a mother in their life is essential. ' Poor man' how can he bring them up without a lady in the house. While looking out for a girl suitable for him- preference is always for unmarried woman albeit slightly older, or a young girl from a poor family . In case that doesn't work out then, the second option is for a widow without issues and lastly a divorcee without issue. These kinds of markers need not be specified by the man but are the accepted norms as per his mother , sisters and female relatives. More so if he is slightly well to do. The common train of thought is " in the process the poor girl will get a better life and she can also help her family economically." This thought is not an age old practice , but still in vogue even among the so called educated ' class'. Contrarily, if a lady is divorced or widowed and considering remarriage , the father and family members themselves lookout for alliances only of those boys who are widowed/ divorced. The very thought of considering a young unmarried bachelor would not cross the mind of the girl or her closest family members. And if she is having child/ children then the first process to be thought of the age of the child , the age of the lady, whether marriage is really required, or can she manage without a partner etc will be discussed and discussed and rehashed by one and all .Suppose she does get remarried then the whole family looks upto the groom gratefully for having given " life and respectability" to their girl. By chance if the groom is unmarried then there would be no end to the feeling of veneration bestowed on him. If it is felt that this kind of veneration and gratitude for the benevelonce felt for the married or unmarried man is only by the parents . it is not so . It is primarily felt by the lady herself. The lady feels immense gratitude to the man who has given her a LIFE. She a '" Defective/unlucky/who is not' a virgin/who was cursed with ill luck/a non-marketable commodity" has been absolutely lucky in her life. .THIS IS THE IMPACT of PATRIARCHY. And once again I would like to tell that this is not an old thought but exists even this day in 2016/2023.
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