Kausalya Parthasarathy

             Her very name and image brings a smile to my face. I happened to meet her through a common friend and colleague sometime in 1992. The first few meetings I noticed that a lot of people were moving in and out of her room and the space was resounding with laughter of these people. Most of them were colleagues who had come for a job to be done, information to be passed on  etc. Some of them were here friends and acquaintances who had come to meet her casually. No matter what the reason, or who the person - every conversation will end in laughter only. That was a time,  I was kind of wary of the people around me and took my time interacting with them, and deciding upon the distance I should maintain with them .  With Kausalya, I do not remember if I really took some time or not. I feel things  just progressed swiftly and very soon , both of us were walking down the aisles of bookshops and cardshops. Either window shopping or buying cards and knick knacks. I was a great believer in gifting cards to every friend and relative , for every occasion or without occasion too. Kausalya would be dragged along and we both used to have fun browsing and commenting . She also sings well and knows a lot of old hindi songs . This was also a mutual attraction between us . Her witty one liners or off hand comments would make me laugh so much . I hardly remember ever having a serious conversation with her. Only conversations punctuated with laughter & giggles - i think even while talking about something seriously we would end up laughing. 

I have observed her way of functioning and interacting with people. They might be her bosses, common colleagues, friends, or office staff. We would not know the mind frame with which they would have entered her room , but when they leave they would be smiling, sometimes singing too. She never had any preconceived notions about anyone , nor did she have any prejudices . She used to just go with the flow and follow her instincts . 

Therewere times when she was troubled by migraine headaches and severe bout of vomiting. All of us would be worried about it . But the way she narrates her period of sickness and ill health will make us laugh out loud. She had a knack of ensuring that the conversations were light hearted and stayed that way. Relaxed and comfortable  - is what anyone and everyone who interacts with her would feel. 

Our lunch sessions were  loud and filled with uncontrolled laughter, some of us would miss a joke so the whole thing had to be repeated causing us to laugh again and we happily extended it to more than a hour at times. Most of us looked forward to going to office only for the lunch meet. That was the attraction which ensured our attendance - more than anything else. A couple of times our bosses and superiors have asked us to "reduce the volume/sound of our laugh" or "keep it low". But then , while we are with Kausalya, silent laughter is just not an option. It would be a literal - "laugh out loud" session. Humour has a lot of restrictions today with the aim of not hurting anyone, being inclusive etc. But Kausalya was unconsciously following these etiquettes. Her jokes were harmless, inclusive and spontaneous. She had lots of friends in both sexes. But her "boy" friends exceeded the "girl" friends. She never encouraged gossip, rant, cribs,  vexed or demeaning manner of speaking etc. The conversations if found to be of these nature were skillfully diverted  and distracted into a different direction. She was keen on keeping herself updated technologically and as required by her work. She was one person who was update with the latest news in general and movies /songs too. She would not read any novels to my knowledge but an avid reader of short pieces, quotes, or those articles of interest which would help in evolving herself as a person. 

She would often say "we should update ourselves constantly". Being her admirer in the various roles she enacted - at office and home,  I found that she was not a people pleaser. Being her natural self - pleased a lot of people. She would diplomatically remove herself from situations and people without causing any discomfort or distress. She never worried about what people thought or spoke about her. We might wonder , what could probably discussed about this type of person.  But I have noticed, that accepting a person as such is very difficult in our society, there are people who tend to dissect and disseminate people on various grounds .  I personally admire her for the ease with which - she  maintains a mental distance by a cordial camradarie with difficult and different people. 

When we felt low, or felt we need to have a hearty laugh, my friend and I would say " lets go and meet Kausy" . To us she was that kind of  a person. Like her words, her gifts would be thoughtful and her presence would be soothing . 

She participates in fun, frolic, get togethers, selective girls outing. Physically she maintains herself well and also indulged fearlessly in skydiving. Sometimes it may appear as a daring act, but  I feel as a person  she is pretty adventurous and open to new experiences.  She is neither judgemental nor preachy. Her retirement was a beautiful event where she got the honour she deserved from the Top most officer. At the same time she skilfully evaded crowding of her close friends and acquaintences , with whom she keeps in touch till date. 

Post retirement, she has planned her daily life with a routine. She is open to ideas ,she learnt piano, yoga, goes on long walks, updates herself on the latest fashion and is as usual bustling about . She never hesitates to learn, relearn, unlearn too. While walking around with her in our area , her nature is so beautiful that I found she had a word & smile with everyone -  literally everyone - flower vendor,  shopkeepers, traffic policemen plus her regular friends whom she meets during her walks.

I could understand everything, but the fact that the traffic policemen recognised her and spoke with her really stood out and showed the real beauty of the person Kausalya is. She said "Smile is not costly" and also beautifully practices the humane quality of humanity. Rather than preaching these thoughts /philosophy she is a unsung heroine who practices it . 

I am always in awe of her . Such a dear friend she is . Feeling truly very happy  and need to learn a lots from her.