Why do I need feminism?

Everyday, a number of questions cross my mind on various issues, on their own or while seeing , peoples behaviour, attitude etc.. Today , one such discussion was with a couple of my friends who wanted to know what is it you want. ? In fact , they were saying that I was neither a full atheist , nor a full theist, nor agnostic,  could not accept me as a skeptic ?(if I delve into this topic this blog will never get written and so also our arguments also never end) I told them first and foremost  I am a feminist and then I am a humanist. They wanted to know why? and what  I mean by feminism? I said even in the days when I was a devout worshipper/religious person/ believer...... I was first a feminist. My father, the Head of the Family was a strict disciplinarian who believed in the dictum , My Ship My Order. Also , according to him , it is not required that women have education / employment / empowerment etc... It was my mothers sheer will, motivation and encouragement that made all three of us - GIRLS - educated, employed, empowered and independent both  individually and economically. 

My earliest memory of feministic argument started when I was around 8 years old and it has continued since. I was always against the discriminatory attitude meted out against girls and the double standards held between two sexes. However, there was very little I could do about it. My only wish which I had been mentioning till very recently was.  " If there is a next birth then in that case I would very much like to be born a boy and do JUST AS I PLEASE".  I do not know how many of  you can identify with this but ,that was a constant prayer. Because , anything I wanted to do ,  I was forbidden , or considered defiant simply because I was a girl and I had to do what was told to me. 

Now this being my background, if I considered something an unimaginable treasure, it is my friends, They were always there for me to ground me, console me, motivate me, educate me and help in my evolution and one act of rebellion which I continued from my 15th year was I had friends in both sexes much to the displeasure and anger of my father. But these friendships have gone a long way to make me what I am. But all this is beside the topic. 

Because, in todays discussion, the question was what is it that my group of Gender Awareness Promoters aim to achieve. What are we thinking and doing and how does it matter?. What do you want to achieve with YOUR FEMINISM. 

This Question is being thrown at me very often of late , by one and all, whether  near or dear or known or unknown. So the following is the introspection of my self and why I do need feminism . I am not sure I am going to be able to get all my points across , but I am going to give it my best. 

Here I would first love to state , that feminism is neither, mine or others but an absolute must as  50% of human population or "HALF THE SKY" as Nikolas Kristof  says is made up of women.

So the next question is Ok , So , what do you  want. ? Do you really think you are going to get freedom? If so what are you  going to do  with it.? I said I want to walk , act, dress, talk, behave and just BE what I want without being labelled as anything but just another human being. 

I do not want to be seen as a WOMAN but as a person who is in no way inferior or superior to another person.? 

So the next question thrown at me is How do you think you can achieve it . ?

Yes  I agree, it is a daunting task , but then it is important to educate the young people that binary difference of biological sex has got nothing to do with physical, mental, emotional, psychological capabilities and no one needs to feel less or more in comparison to another. and that is what we GAPies are doing.  And we are starting with children because they are growing and not filled with preconceived ideas , bias, notions and it is a good place to see the future being different from what it is. 

Next argument - No matter what you do in case there is a rape- it is only the girl who is affected and not the man or men who raped her. Yes accepted , that the personal inviolable space of the man /woman , girl/boy  and children (please understand that men do get raped) is violated.

Yes , the personal space of a girl is violated, but when she has to suffer enough, physical emotional, mental and psychological pain as one would with any other accident, plus the excessive display of aggression, brutality we take great pains in making it a matter of HONOUR too. which is totally absurd.  If I meet with an accident on the road , the injuries caused to me are also painful and intolerable to me and in the case of rape it is escalated to total violation of a personal space and more painful. To this if you add other ingredients like , dress code, boyfriend, honour and all nonsense it is manifold and totally unwarranted.  And dress has nothing to do since children as young as 3 mths and women as old as 91 years are also getting raped. 

So by creating this Gender Awareness among school children we would like to teach the young people that ...... we should care for another person irrespective of sex (male/female) or gender ( which is a whole broad spectrum). So when this topic touched the Broad spectrum of gender, they brought up the issue of LGBT. which again with the little knowledge I had I defended saying that  NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO QUESTION THE PERSONAL SEXUAL ORIENTATION OF A PERSON AND THAT IT WAS A PERSONAL MATTER. It is not an unknown component and has been existing in all eras/period including sex with beast , which as every claim is made  today is part of OUR  INDIAN CULTURE tooo. 

The next shot .... "then there will be no decorum in society if every body starts living for the individuals need. The very fabric of society is going to be torn and that is meaningless and useless talk". One of them said , "I really do not understand what exactly is that you want with your fight for FEMINISM".

In fact, I think thinking and writing about each aspect of todays discussion will be more than  I can achieve in this single post . So I took up the FEMINISM aspect alone.  Why do  I need feminism?

I need feminism , because 

•  I want the boys to feel it is ok to cry and not be called girlie or sissy in a derogatory manner
• I want the girls  who do not cry not be called , "cold hearted" , "not gentle", "too arrogant" "too self involved" "trying to act like a man when the right thing would be to be a proper girl  cry and get  it over  with "
• I want the boys to feel okay if  they do not feel like playing with a truck but happy with a bunny.
• I want girls to feel okay and nice if they do not want barbie but GI JOE.
• I want the girls to learn - flying, aeronautics, thermodynamics, quantum physics and all those things which is considered an exclusive male domain  - and be okay with  it . Rather than be told :"please remember you are a girl and in future you have to take care of family so choose that which will help you to balance both."
• I want the girls, to feel free and wear  bermudas, shorts, skirts, long or short, dresses which they are comfortable in rather than dresses which do not "attract" attention or "disturb even the best man"
• I want girls to be completely okay with not having any artistic talents like , stitching, cooking, cleaning, drawing, knitting etc and not considered a"girl" with "Weird" notions since all she likes is chess, squash, reading papers the first thing in the morning, and discussing politics and finance rather than cookery and jewellery. 
• In short, I want the girls to have all the advantage and opportunity that today's boys have and boys to indulge in all those aspects of life which they are nurturing secretly , and  they are prevented from due to sex based strictures. 

This need of what I want with " my feminism" is endless  but most of all  I want FEMINISM because I want every boy and every girl to be comfortable in their own skin, with their own likes and dislikes and without criticism or comparison based on sex or gender , which is hurtful  and needless. 

I do not know if  I have made myself clear or my narration is valid but this exercise of mine has helped me immensely in putting things in perspective and also to reassure me that the road taken by the GAPies is a long one and the journey needs to be taken if we want to reduce and eventually remove the sex/gender based bias , problems, objectification , issues in the long run . 

I AM HAPPY BEING A FEMINIST AND I STILL WANT FEMINISM.