Two days back on 01.11.2014 I came to know that a young girl of 17 years committed suicide since she was scared to face her first semester exams. The news of suicides committed by children, have become almost a regular feature in our daily life. Suicide could be .due to failure in exams, not achieving expected mark/grade, not meeting parents expectation, feeling hurt because they were scolded harshly by their loved ones, felt insulted due to teachers'rebuke, fight between siblings, parents and last but not the least love failure. I have been long wondering the cause for the students or rather children's inability to face failures in daily life..
Where are we going wrong? By we, I mean the parents, teachers, friends and society in general. While bringing up children we place a lot of emphasis on the needs of the children at the same time, all of us want our children to study in the " BEST schools", take up extra classes on fine arts, take up extra coaching, win all competitions right from kindergarden till their period as students, They should , sing dance, act, orate, be good quizzer, speaker, artist... and a very good student . They should no doubt academically perform very well, also shine in the sports field, and what not.. Thinking back , I feel being a child is such a tough task these days.
From day one, the parents start expecting a lot from their children. They want their child to achieve all their failed ambitions, the goals that they have kept in mind for their children to achieve, all that they think is the "best" in the society. Their child should have the best paying jobs ,their child should become a person with a very high profile so that they can bask in the glory of their child's achievement and be proud of the fact that they have done a great task, they have achieved the purpose of their birth , etc.
We as parents, teachers and the society as a whole fail in one basic aspect. We fail to give our child the required confidence to face life. We do not teach our children that it is not a crime to fail in an exam, it is not a crime if the child can only study and is not interested in any extra curricular activities, it is not the end of the world if a child is not interested in Maths/Science/History/Geography/Language/Arts/Music/Sports etc..
We as parents should first ensure that the health, safety, habits and character formation of the child requires more importance than, academic achievements. It is important for us to realise that it is not the end of our world too,if the child is not able to achieve our aims and ambitions.
What is more important is for us to keep the communication channels with the children open. The child should feel free to share every thing that happens in their daily life without fear to their parents, The child should learn 'SELF WORTH'. To this end , we as parents should support our children, and impose upon them the value of life.We have to constantly reassure them, that no matter what, the child is more important than any of its achievement The child should feel confident that, even if the child is not a achiever but an average or below average student, in no way is the child inferior to its parents.
So what, if the child does not get good mark, does not win a competiiton, does not play a particular sport inspite of excellent coaching, she/he is still our child and their life is very very important to us . We should reinforce upon them that we are not going to judge or accept them based on their achievements or failures.We need to reassure them that they are our children worthy of our love , care and affection at all times, at all places throughout our/their life.
We as parents need to sit back and think what is more important to us, our child - its well being , safety , good health and self confidence OR fulfillment of our expectations,our needs, our aims ,our status in the eyes of the society, friends, relative & family. Unless we do this kind of analysis , we will not be able to give our children the confidence to face life with all its pitfalls and downslides.
Life is tough, not always easy but then that does not mean that a failure/sickness/setback however big or small should cause a person to contemplate suicide. Killing ourselves is not the solution to any problem and no point in any of us regretting the loss of our beloved child after the end of its life.
The smallest unit of society is a family and unless each family accepts its child as such and does not compare the child with that of another or burden/pressurise the children ,it is very difficult for a child to live in today's society .
Today's children have more exposure/distraction/needs/money/ and what not but what they do not have is a safe society, understanding and accepting parents, family,relatives or society. No matter how much material comfort we offer our children , what needs to be emphasised is the amount of attention, love and acceptance we give them is more important than any material need. Children need our attention and presence and the reassurance that their parents will always be there for them.
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