Contemplations and Questions

I do say suicide is not the answer but what will my absence actually mean. Is there any purpose in life? In the huge cosmos , the earth is only a dot - so the people living on the earth are all the more insignificant.  My absence will be felt by near and dear ones for sometime. But life goes on. My existence or not does not make any difference in actuality.. May be there will be a difference for a few of them for a limited period of time but not always for everybody. Is it because of this  nonentity  type of existence that people live   as they do. 

When I consider  existence or  lack of  it -  is it also okay form me to consider 

the manner of existence --- values or principles like ethics, moral and justice during life. ?

By and large, all human beings are born, the few who are lucky get educated by that i mean  literate, and out of those a few get employed , find a means to earn money, marry and the cycle goes on. During this cycle, a large number of people do not get educated, do not find employment, find it difficult to follow the routine of so called " normal " living. 

Also , there are number of people who find it difficult to satisfy their daily pangs of hunger - food for sustenance  - am not sure if this dissatisfaction gives rising to the qualities called bestial - which makes them kill , steal or beg be violent .

In a manner of speaking I am able to accept that these people needs for bodily sustenance triggers them to behave in a very crude   manner.  Then again who am i to say what is crude and what is refined. 

What about those people who are "educated"  "well-employed" but still behave in a manner which disgusts their fellow beings. What causes people to behave in the manner in which they  do. They have neither respect nor care for their fellow human beings and their behaviour. Why is it people behave cheaply/crassly with no thought  to fellow beings.?

Is not our perception of ourself and our importance bigger than they actually are. Are we really productive ? Are we in any way useful to somebody. What will happen if we do not exist? What is the need for a life where we are neither useful or useless. What makes us think we matter? Our ego? Our need  for recognition? The farcial life we lead. What forms the basis for our presence here.? Why do we indulge in self pity when we know our existence or absence goes unnoticed in a larger scheme. Why is that rational decision taking is different. Why  cant i be like  others who dont waste their time questioning and thinking. So many questions ..

And last but not the least... is it  that we should/would raise these questions only when we are sad or have a bad mood. ? Is it wrong to question. I do not know. Seeking answers.. So much to learn .. so much to understand..