Parenting - Education/Literacy ?

EDUCATION/LITERACY

In  today’s  World  what  is  it  that  parents  want  from  their  children / off-springs?  Do they want them  to be literate  children  or  educated  children .  Whenever  we  speak   about  admitting children  to  school  or college(s), we talk about educating  our  children but do we actually do it?

DICTIONARY DEFINES LITERACY AS –

1)  The ability to read and write

2)   Competence  or knowledge  in  a  specified  area  eq. “Wine  literacy”

EDUCATION MEANS –

a.   The process of receiving/giving systematic instruction?

b.   The theory of and practice of teaching.

EN-MASSE  -  We try to make our children `literate/educated’  as  in 1) & 2)  and  as in  a) above , but have we succeeded in inculcating in our children   the  ability to –

v  Think before they  act

v  See/study/obseve/watch & react

v  Be punctual in all place

v  Be cleanly & neatly groomed

v  Handle themselves with dignity

v  Refrain from un-warranted acts/pettiness.

It is true  that children  today are influenced by the – MEDIA – TV/CARTOONS/CINEMAS etc. and SOCIETY AT LARGE  comprising of  --- Peers  from  play school  to  college,  people  other than parent(s), relatives, neighbours  and  acquaintances  etc.  They emulate the examples before them from early  stage  (without thinking about  them  in-depth)   and use   whatever mea ns available  to  achieve  what  they  want.

As  parent(s) what do we do?  Are we setting the right example? Are we also, not indulging  in  acts  which  does  not  suit  our age , maturity  or our position in life. Do  we  ever  stop  to   think , how our actions/ reactions  affect  -- us / our  family/ relative s and  most importantly our children? – NO.

 Citing  an  example - If, I don’t  want  my children  to  interrupt  me  during  a- phone  conversation, I should also  practice  the same  when they  talk  over  the  phone.  Children  learn  a  lot  from  observing  their parents  and  their  acts  rather  than act on  “HOW THEY ARE TAUGHT TO ACT BY THEIR PARENT”.  Parents  are  leaders/role-models   and  ones  who make  the  first  and  most lasting  impression  on  the  children .

BEING A PARENT IS NOT A POST/POSITION  BUT A STATE OF RESPONSIBITLY WHICH  IS IMMENSE.   We are in a position   guard  them   and  to GUIDE them  .  Till  an  appropriate     st(age).

Are we fulfilling it?

Parents  spend   a  lot  for   books,   tuitions,     extra classes, coaching classe,   music  / dance /art / sports  etc.  hoping  to  not only   educate their   children   but  also make  them   an  all  rounder   (!!!)  right  from the   age    of  two  .  The  child   is   seen   as   QUEEN/KING  and  practices so  established   that  the  need   of  the  child  comes  first   overcoming anything else.   The  child  should  be  able  to  get  good  marks  right  from   the  primary  school  and   able  to  dance  /  sing /   perform  on  stage  /   publish   its  work   and be  recognized   at a very  early  age  in   the  society   and  continue   at  the same  pace    as much  as  possible.

Once  the child  reaches   the   class  IX   then  all   attention   should   primarily   focus   on   studies   and  in  obtaining  the  maximum  mark s.

To  this  end,  no stone  is left   unturned  by  the parents   in  enrolling   the  child  in tuitions   /coaching  classes  / exclusive  attention  so   that  the  child  is  able  to get   minimum   of   cent per cent   if not more.   ------

 At  this  stage  a  lot  of  us  en  masse  do  the mistake  of  making  our children achieve  our aims  and  desires   to match  our whims and  fancies, than  allowing  them  to   set their goals .

When we think  back to the period twenty or twenty five years or so   when the revolution of science and technology was not so much -- we find that in comparison  there is a -total paradigm shift for  our  children  and  access /exposure to various mode of  communication technology aiding  their education and  adding to the highly  volatile level  of competition to do or un-do  situations,  which was not available to us  in our child hood. (thereby leaving us with all the necessary equipments  to enjoy our childhood)

The future of our children is more bleak  than  ours . We have not given  our child  healthy environment ,  open area  to play  and holidays  to rejoice  mainly  due to  reason  that we  ourselves  in this computer age, have little  time establish  the values of  healthy life, exercise and other out-door activities. 

The competition  is  so  intense  that a child has to  out-do others by a fraction of  a  mark inorder  to determine the course of child’s destiny  and that fraction  of mark  will  take a  heavy  toll in  her   path and  in the  future  attitude   of her   life.  This is not  to say  that  we did not have challenges, we did have our challenges  and  the same was met with limited  resource  and   the same  contributed  to our  growth. Let us  not pressurise them to become   an engineer / doctor / lawyer  or whatever failed ambitions we have .  Rather let  us allow  them  to pursue that  field which  they  think  will  help  them  to  fit   in the society.   We should not enforce our ideas  but  allow them to be independent and at the same time educate them   about  value  of life.  While  we  are  engaged  in  this  search  of  absolute  academic   achievements ----   to  the exclusion  of   everything  else    we fail to inculcate a lot of `humane’ values in the child.

It  is  best for a parent  to  identify  the   potential   the child  has  and  the  target   the child  wants  to  attain  and  help /contribute for attaining  the same.  It is also essential  for the parent to instill in the child  the  requirements  to be a  ‘humane’ being and  to contribute to the requirements  of   society  as much as possible .

. Right from her  birth  we  teach  them   to differentiate  between  various parts  of  the  body/plants  etc.,  similarly  the children  should  also   be taught   about   manners,   habits,   responsibilities,   behavior    and all other aspects of characters   for  a complete  development. as   an individual.

While we focus  all our  energy  on  academic  accomplishments   and  then   subsequent   career  with   “ good  prospects”   we  fail  to focus  on other  aspects  of  development   like  interpersonal  skill,  caring , sharing etc.   All   of   a sudden  one  fine day   when  we are  at the  end  of  the career  or   job     we  turn  to our  children  for help  and  support in our   post  retirement period.  When  doing  so  we  find  that   by  this  time  the children  are already  involved   in   the  cycle  mentioned  earlier  in respect   of  their offsprings   and   are  unable  to spare  time/attention/effort /money   to  us.

We  feel  rejected/dejected/lonely  and   tend  to  think   that   “  inspite  of  all   that  we  have   done   for  our  child/children  they  are  so  ungrateful  /selfish/self centered  etc……”

 If  we  want  to bring  about  a change    or inculcate  “values”  in  our  children   we need  to start  right  from   day  one. Honestly  speaking, I am, very concerned to  find a lot of mistaken  traits  and  habits  of  youngsters  of  today  which  is excused   by  parents  as –

Ø  THAT IS THE CHILD’D INDIVDUALITY.

Ø  SHE WILL NEVER GIVE IN – UNLIKE ME,

Ø  SHE WILL STAND FOR RIGHTS,?

It  is  not  that  children ,  being  children  ,should always  compromise /adjust/obey etc. but we should teach them to watch, observe and then to decide  on  issues  where  they  have  to  compromise  and where  they  standup.

In  today’s  nuclear  family  environment, when a child sees both parents giving her all priority ensuring that she goes to school and all needs  catered to, the child stands feeling that she is more important than anybody and her needs  first   OK.  It is not a crime to cater the childs needs  (3-4 yrs),  in  that  age.  But  right from that age. we need to emphasise the most  important aspect in the child that

---------THIS FAMILY  is a UNIT  which will  function  beautifully if all the  members  co-ordinate and function “together”. --------

 It is not required for  a 3 yr old to be lectured  upon  or do a heavy task , but in the process of getting ready to school/play-school , it is not wrong to tell her to  get her  basket, napkin and other  small items  and help  the parents in  getting  her ready  for the school. . A little bit of practice and continuous instilling of responsibility and words of encouragement giving confidence will ensure that the child will be a willing participant in days to come -- when both the parent s are getting slightly older physically and will necessarily need  and  appreciate the  participation  of  the child  and sharing of responsibilities by her.

Such activities of inclusion of the younger  family member in various acitivities of the family will inculcate in them, a feeling of belonging/responsibility/bonding and habit of SHARING which is almost absent  in today’ young generation for which I wouldn’t blame child.

I as a parent  continue to commit the mistake of buying 2 sets of colour pencils where one well do, to avoid conflict between siblings  which per-se though  not bad doesn’t  help in  inculcating  the habit of  sharing.

It is high time that we start thinking and changing  our attitudes and behaviours , mannerisms, if we want or children-to-be good citizens of the future.         

 Let us not  get hooked to various personalities’/ reflexes , but  try to ensure that the child becomes  what  he wants   and try explore her  potential to be a person on her own  and be confident  that    success which she wants  will  follow .