We hear a lot about the youngsters of this ‘generation’. Almost all the parents feel that their teenage sons’ and daughters’ do not understand monetary problems, are not caring , do not have a sense of responsibility etc…. . All these days I have also been one among such parent. However, the events of February 15th & 16th , 2011 have given me a different perspective and better understanding of these youngsters.
My daughter’s classmate and good friend lost her father(who was 50 years old) on 15.02.2011. On 14th he had complained of some uneasiness and the whole family , consisting of parents and 2 daughters, aged 10 and 17( my daughters classmate- priya) had been to the hospital. After examination and series of tests the Doctor declared that everything was normal and they could go home. The family came back home. 15th February, started of as a normal day, the girl came to school , to face ongoing revision exams, being the class leader she had to stay back to carry out a few tasks assigned by the teachers and left later than her other classmates. Again around 7.30 pm her father complained of uneasiness and went back to the hospital. On examination, it was found that his Blood Pressure was very low and Sugar level extremely high and around 08.30 pm he suffered a massive attack and collapsed at 08.45 pm. The Doctors at the hospital tried their level best to revive him till 10.00p.m failed in their attempt and informed the family accordingly.
Priya’s classmate called her at 07.45 pm and was told that she was at the hospital. Another classmate called her at around and received no reply. On enquiry with other friends the fact that she was at the hospital came to light. Two boys and a girl of the class, went directly to the hospital to enquire as to what happened. The three youngsters stayed back with Priya and family till the Doctor’s declaration. The family had no means to discharge the ‘body’ and take it home. The trio of youngsters took care of the necessary arrangements for settlement of bill, discharge and transportation of Priya’s father, in an ambulance to Priya’s home and stayed with Priya , her mom and sister throughout the night.
They also informed one and all concerned like school authorities, relatives, friends and classmates. By the time the body was brought home, 4 other classmates joined them at their house and helped them .
16th being a working day, the children just went back home to refresh themselves and attend the exams. The Principal during the assembly informed about the death and advised the students how they should support Priya in her time of grief. The whole school of around 350 students were in tears.
The children of Priya’s class both boys and girls were totally broken and in tears throughout the duration of the exams and the combined effort of the teachers and Principal could not console them. Priya’s father was well known among her school mates for his friendly approach and kindness. He had a very jovial and sunny personality and was well liked by these youngsters . In my daughter’s words “he was a man to whom one can relate to as a friend and Priya was very close to her father.” Immediately after exams the whole class went to Priya’s house.
The children stayed over there till the funeral which was around 03.00 p.m, and only after 05.30pm did they start leaving. Apart from this a few very notable acts of the children needs to be mentioned.
The ten year old sister of Priya fainted and Priya had an attack of epileptic fit . It was the class mates of Priya, [main role played by the trio- mentioned earlier] who revived the children, purchased food and drinks, coerced, cajoled and convinced children and mother to drink and eat something, and were there with the 3 members of family offering them the moral support .
My daughter’s observation during her stay is as under:
v Priya’s parents’ marriage was an intercaste love marriage,
v Consequently, both the families neither came forward during their lifetime, nor at the death of the father.
v Whomsoever came to see the body , just placed a garland and walked away without consoling the mother or children.
v The few remaining relatives were so busy gossiping without a thought to the lady , who had lost her husband suddenly.
v The mother was sitting all alone with not a single adult from either family to offer consolation or support.
v It was the friends of priya who stayed with the mother and children.
v There was no money and no relative seemed to be concerned.
v Priya’s classmates have been helping out physically, financially and emotionally.
v Being Christian the body was buried and two classmates who had lost their father went to the grave yard.
v The 10 year old was very scared and so she was taken away by Priya’s classmate to her house.
v The Children stayed back till 05.30 and only after Priya told them to leave, did they go home.
I feel that the friends of Priya have to be really
appreciated and applauded for their support strength offered by them to the family in need. The parents of these children should also be highly appreciated for offering the monetary help and allowing the children to do the needful and instilling the sense of responsibility in these children. But as my daughter rightly said, “all the boys and girls of my class were called mischievous, naughty, troublesome etc.. but they all rose to the occasion unitedly and each one did their bit . They were more responsible and understanding than the relatives. How could the adults be so callous and unthoughtful even in the time of grief. Just because theirs was a love marriage, the family members who shunned them 2 decades back , even now failed to be present.. What kind of behavior is this???? Could they not be there to offer support.. Our relatives are all excellent and thoughtful people amma. This is the first time I see adults behaving in such cruel and inconsiderate manner… Cheeee”.
Yes my dear, I fully agree. The learned , matured adults have a lot to learn from these youngsters, who are considered to be playful, irresponsible, and immature. Will we learn what is important, who is important and when to rise up to the occasion. So I think before we parents complain about the children , let us think twice and let us not hesitate to learn from them the better virtues.
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