Whiplash of the tongue

There is a saying which says “pen is mightier than the sword” adding to it , it should be stated that use of tongue without caution like an unbridled horse, causes immense damage. The power of speech and  the impact of it, on the audience / the listener is immense. It is essential to remember that right from beginning , children should be taught by example and otherwise  - what to speak, what not to speak, when to speak and when not to speak. Today’s children and youngsters are well exposed to various facets of technological advancement. This exposure gives them both required and unrequired input. In the over enthusiasm of possessing such inputs they allow their tongue to wag even without necessity and  sometimes  - highly inappropriately.

By doing so they are not aware of the consequences most of the time and sometimes they do not care about it. As a part of parenting it is imperative for us to know and guide them / correct them and  their usage of vocabulary. Being taken for granted, though many consider it as a compliment it is not always so . Such a notion gives idea to the children that it is possible to speak anything and everything to parents. Yes it is possible to speak anything and everything , but it is very essential for them to learn how the same should be presented , even with parents with whom they can speak ‘freely’ . It is essential to inculcate in the children  the capacity to hold their tongue so that the listener does not suffer the effects of the  the tongue lash.

Children today are more demanding and adamant.  This could be attributed to various reasons, but what needs to be done is that they should be taught not to lash at the parents also with their words. The quality of being manipulative is so inbuilt in them that they are easily able to escape with great ingenuity. But this does not in anyway excuse/explain their use of harsh language with parents/ friends/ family or outsiders. What parents do in such situation is even though they are hurt they try to justify or find a cause for the child’s act, which is incorrect. In the sense, that identifying the cause of misbehaviour is a must but using that as an excuse to explain and for the children to  get away with harsh language or words is incorrect.

It is important for parents  to understand and teach children that misdirected anger, irritation due to self pity, misbehaving due to lack of satisfaction are not the excuses which they should find to explain their behaviour. No matter what our situation is, it is essential to remember that tongue and its usage should be placed under guard. Else the consequences of the same should be faced. Children and parents mistakenly believe that it is ok because it is only behind closed doors or within family , that the child expresses his anguish.

But please remember it is not okay. There is no guarantee that a child’s word will not hurt the parent. The only difference between an outsider and a parent would be that the latter would find out the cause and forgive even if they do not forget, which a rank outsider will not do.

In order to teach children to exercise caution on the language, words and tone used by them it is very essential to correct them at all times when they use incorrect words, tone or manner of speaking . Parents must explicitly and implicitly ensure that misuse of words , intonation, and language by the children would not be encouraged at any cost. If at times the parents themselves commit such mistakes it behooves them to apologise and accept the fact that they were also in error with that kind of behavior.

Parents should correct the child’s manner of speaking both by constant watching and by example. If the same is not done in an early age, then no amount of excusing will take away the pain and wound caused by the harsh tongue of a person. No excuses offered are also acceptable .