I came on transfer to Chennai on 23 rd Jan 1992. I was
posted in a place where there were no women , atleast to my knowledge. I used
to come sit and read books, watch people and slowly befriended all of them.
Probably I was an unwanted intrusion or distraction , or probably I look like I
needed to be controlled.. , no idea a male colleague of mine took me to a store
room and introduced me to a short and stocky lady. He told me she is a good
company for you.
Till then, I didn't know her existence or that of the room.. From
that day she took me under her wing and continued to do so till date. Our
relationship is such a wonderful one, which has continued I think basically
because of her excellent qualities.
Today I don't remember what we used to speak but after that day we
have always been together like Siamese twins for 4 full years. I remember the
snide and caustic comments of how this is an excellent combo because both of us
had our own problems and "official" society reluctant to include
us in various celebration.
We did not care, we were happy with each other, could talk hours
together on various subjects and enjoy our company.
She was senior to me by 10 years in age and 14 years in service
and till date I have never called her ' madam'. From day one she is jaya to me.
She introduced me to a number of excellent people who continue to be my
friends. Both of us used to walk all the way from Nungambakkam to Adyar on number of days.
Happily munching ' gangotree' snacks and talking.
I think that today if I am called an adjustable personan
understanding person more than 75 %of credit goes to her.
Because she is epitome of adjustment.. For all her intelligence
and wit she silently bears whatever life throws her way with absolutely
no complaints. For the first time in my life , my dad complimented me on
my " choice," of friend. We both used to go to a number of temples
together on weekend, fast on a few days . We used to go shopping together even
on holidays . She was with me at all times such that once my mom and elder
sister had to remind me that she was a married woman and it would not be
correct for me to interfere and draw her into all activities as she had other
responsibilities.
She was my confidant , I don't know if ever I was hers.
Some of her exemplary qualities till date are , to accept people
as they are - no questions asked, with all positive and negative factors.
Her favorite statement. "Ava/avar appidithan.. eppidi irukkalo appidiye
othuko theenthu pochu prachanai". Honestly speaking I am yet to practice
it. Her qualities are such that she has Friends in all cadres across the
department. She is a confidant to a number of people without reservation.
Patiently listening and offering suggestions and being equanamous whether it is
accepted or not.
A number of people have told me that she is a
promotee officer and it is surprising that I am with her. To all
those people my only reply was she is my friend period - please keep your
observations & inhibitions to yourself. Our society is highly prejudiced in
its view and approach, knowledge of English and sophisticated appearance
matters more than a genuine friendly nature and good heart. A number of times I
have fought on her behalf to people on how good she is in knowledge of various administrative procedures, mathematics, income
tax law. Till date all my tax work and GPF she does for me.
She is as tech savvy as needs be, learns what she
wants and is silent on her knowledge. After 4 years of
togetherness, when she was transferred for the first time in, 1996/97, I
cried for 3 continuous days ,so much so ,my husband asked me whether she was my
friend even before employment.We had a telephone operator who recognises voices
well and whenever I call he would say jayalakshmi thaane..Wait a sec..So well
known, was our togetherness.
After
the first time we were separated, I kind of accepted
the fact that it may not be possible for us to work together always. Our
views on most of the issues were diametrically opposite and I would spend hours
trying to explain why I hold this view. She will be equally emphatic in
arguing her point but at the end of discussion, her inevitable statement would
be, 'probably you are right but I prefer to keep my opinion.' The
statement would be said so politely said that it would be difficult to argue
further. Our conversation with each other would be
filled with fun and nonstop exchange of witty repartee. So much so a few
onlookers have felt and commented that 'are they really friends? They argue so
much'. But very few are privy to the closeness we share.
My husband calls her my "udan pirava sahodari".
There has never been an occasion in my house/family, birth, death,
wedding, house warming, upanayanam, construction in which she was not
present or involved. I always take her suggestion
before venturing into or involving myself in all or any of the above.
She is a solid rock who stands in support for me till date.
The extent of affection she has is
immeasurable, if I or any of my family member is sick
or hospitalised she will be the first one to whom my children, my
husband or I turn to. She will offer all physical help needed at same
time present her self to offer silent support to me or the others who
need. Apart from this, being a devout person offer special prayers for
our well being. Knowing very well that I have become a non
believer, she will say' that is OK I believe I will do,
you don't interfere. ' Actually I am at loss of words
regarding how much she means to me. She is more of family than friend and
such a sweet person at that. I will miss her definitely
after her retirement , from office. But somehow I don't feel I will
be away from her because physical distance has never been an issue between
us. I love you Jaya and thank you for all your help you have
done and continue to do for me.
